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another paradox
Here’s another peculiar, contradictory juxtaposition of thoughts in this paradox-laden condition. Lethargy, ennui allow for it, yet I long for times with no agenda, no appointments, just space. When I...
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creeping up on me
It just creeps on me insidiously! How annoying, I hadn’t noticed that before. I’ve always thought that there was a trigger which, if I could identify it, I could work on and all would be well. Naive,...
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back in B.E.D.
It’s been a while, but today, this afternoon has got me right back in the saddle. Bingeing for my country. Starting well, with a bowl of sultanas, moving on to a lump of Brie and then, properly in the...
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B.E.D. is beckoning
I’m back to normal. Not ‘normal’ you’ll note. That’s for people without B.E.D. I’m just ordinary normal. Which is bad news. It means I’m not practicing conscious eating. I’m not bingeing per se but...
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modelling eating
You know that thing about learning – you start off as unconsciously incompetent (first stage), then when you cotton on that you know jack about the thing, you become consciously incompetent (2nd). Then...
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victory of a sort
Hubby went away last week and he’ll be gone for a while. It was always going to be a testing time and two days ago I thought I’d failed the test, big time. I’ve had a few days of tricky evenings, but...
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not quite there
It is so strange how I can be so very aware of my lack of awareness. I can be really, really THERE whilst I’m buying the vat of ice cream and the family-size bag of pretzels.Yet, if I was really there...
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the anxiety link?
Personal growth, and in that I very much include my work on my B.E.D., is like peeling an onion, you keep uncovering a new layer. A big difference, and where that simile falls down, is that every new...
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an appointment at last
I rang up the counselling place last week, as when I’d spoken with them last the implication had been that I would have heard something by now. She said, ‘ah yes, you’re waiting for CBT, aren’t you?’....
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hey, we’re getting somewhere
I’ve had two appointments now, with the clinical psychologist. Nice guy. And he listens. Properly listens. First time, I wasn’t so sure, it was all about triggers, and what it’s like to have a binge....
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